I've been remembering you, today more than ever, and I don't know why. A while now I've been having this feeling that I should have shown you more love, because I really loved you and I believe you didn't knew it. I didn't either, until I lost you. Between a lot of things, I really regret not having loved you more before and somehow when I lost you, I lost everybody else too... and only loneliness has been my true friend these past few months. Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time and change all for the better, because even those good times we spent together were not enough. You deserved more from me and I didn't give it to you. Losing you has been the hardest thing that I have had to accept in my entire life. Remembering you is easy and I do it everyday, I swear. But missing you is the heartache that never goes away.
Some people say you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but the truth is that I knew what
I had... I just never thought I would lose it. I never thought I would lose you. And I regret so many things today. I wish you could be right here with me now. Because maybe you don't know it, but your absense has altered my life forever. I no longer feel pain and there are a few new people in my life, but the gap you left never closes. It's a hole in my heart that has your shape and no one else can fit it. I wish someone had warned me before that I would lose people in my life. I feel that no matter how much time I spent with you or how much I appreciate you and told you so, it never seems like it was enough.
Some guy said once that something we should know about losing someone we love is that they don't travel alone because we go with them. And somehow, I feel that my spirit is with you and yours is with me at the same time. You're with me always, I'm never alone, but I still miss you so much. I have really tried to hide this feeling from others, but the more I hide them, the more they grow. New different and beautiful memories from you come to my mind every single day. And those memories are the only ones that comfort me. When I'm all alone with them, feeling this kind of mixture between happiness and sorrow, is when I know that I'm not really that alone, because somehow you never left me.
